But I don’t want to, Dad!
You listen to me young man; my roof, my rules!
It’s another day of disagreement and yelling in the home of the Smiths which normally winds up into a cold war by the end of the day. Mrs. Smith although a qualified counsellor herself finds it a little too much to keep a clear head in all this. It wasn’t until recently that Dave, her only son, completed high school. As far as she could remember, Dave had always been her passionate little man. You should have seen how he relished his play time even as a six-year-old. She knew that her little man was growing but even with all her qualifications as a reputable counsellor, she had a hard time accepting it and so did Mr. Smith.
This time around, the cold war between father and son was concerning the programme Dave would pursue in the university. To Mr. Smith, life is life and shouldn’t be handled with the soft gloves of interests and personal preference. Coming from a man who had built everything out of nothing, he surely knew what he was saying. Unfortunately, Dave didn’t think so.
The tension described here is not only confined to the home of the Smiths. If we consider the home of the Smiths as the headquarters of this kind of parent-child conflict, then we can say that the Smiths have thousands of established branches all over the world. Tension of this nature makes homes feel like no home at all; the once little heaven on earth suddenly becomes a devouring dungeon we wish to be free from. I’ve had a glimpse of what it feels like to be in the home of the Smiths but I’ve benefited from my dad’s wisdom. May I share this with you…Why not?
Proverbs 22: 6 (Berean Study Bible)- Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.
Are you sure that’s the school you want to attend?
Yes Dad.
Have you heard how difficult it is to gain admission to that school without a little ‘push’?
Well, yes Dad
Alright, then go for it.
This was one of the enlightening conversations that I had with my dad as I was ready to take the next step on the educational ladder. You may be wondering…how did it go, man? Did you make it? But that was incredibly the least of my concerns. In this enlightening conversation, all that I heard although not plainly stated was ‘I trust you, son’ and that was all that mattered to me. My dad’s wisdom brought me to a place where I had a richer understanding of Proverbs 22:6.
First, I realized that parents are to train children up in the way they should go. At a glance, one might probably think that the Bible is encouraging parents to live their lives through their children where they get their children to do their every whim and desire but that isn’t exactly what the Bible says. The way they should go is quite different from the way you want them to go. Thinking about this I could come up with two main ways this confusion can be resolved.
The first way is to focus on training children in the ‘hows’ and leaving the ‘whats’ to them. This may sound reckless to some but the recklessness in this is quite similar to that of students left to fend for themselves during examinations after being taught for several months. When children are rightly trained in the ‘hows’, we need not worry because the ‘whats’ only reveal how well they were trained. For example, instead of choosing a particular career path for your children, you can teach them on how to choose a particular career path; the factors to consider. C’mon have a little faith in the children.
The second way is to understand how your children are built. If you ever spot a device with a sharp edge that seems to stand out, then your fast paced mind might suggest that it’s got something to do with cutting, slicing or piercing. The way your child is naturally built has a lot to do with the way he ought to go. Take some time out to understand how your child is built.
Restpiration 