You with me (All I ever need)

It was just around midnight when her screams hit the peak. In a community that was usually quiet even during the busy waking hours, this was unusual and a little uncomfortable if you’ll ask me. Sue was barely five months old; her only way of letting us in on what she was experiencing was through her ear-piercing screams…that too, in the middle of the night.

As peace loving as I am, I turned to her Mum who was half-awake and was probably caught between two worlds- the dream world and the world of reality.

“Just wrap your arms around her, she’ll be okay”; this was the absent-minded response I got from her.

I thought to myself how simply wrapping my arms around a baby screaming in the middle of night could be of any help in restoring her peace and mine too. I reasoned that there could be so many reasons for Sue’s discomfort.

So I turned to her poor Mum again and bombarded her with questions until she was wide awake obviously irritated by my persistent questioning.

Wrapped in her Mum’s arms, Sue gradually reduced the pitch of her scream till there was total silence. She now slept peacefully. Aside the lesson of not doubting a mother’s wisdom, this incident also presented another precious lesson that got me thinking all through the night.

A few days back I had read that babies are closest to the purest human nature there is. The reason being that unlike the rest of us who are socially conditioned and with altered originality, babies have their originality intact.

When Sue feels discomfort, she doesn’t contemplate whether it would be a good time to let out a scream or not, she just screams and she expects the whole world to attend to her immediately. After all, what does she care?

I wondered what this middle of the night incident meant and how it related to the human nature and condition. This was what I could come up with… but even before that, let me ask you these two very easy questions (if you’ll consider them as such):

• Do you ever feel like you are going through so much and that no one really understands what you’re experiencing?
• Do you realize how this gloomy feeling of “nobody knows” is usually resolved?

I’m no expert at handling babies and I feel it’s important for me to state that. This was just one middle of the night incident with Sue (and not with all babies in the world). So if your baby screams in the middle of the night, well…do what you’ve got to do to save the night for yourself and your baby too. All I’m aiming at is to draw some precious lessons from that single experience that I feel is true about all of us in so many ways.

That night I realized that all that Sue needed was the assurance that she wasn’t alone and that we, her family, were there for her. She just needed to feel the warmth of our love and support, nothing much- nothing special. It is amazing how little we have changed from this assurance-seeking nature over the years. The fact that all the conditioning from society couldn’t obliterate this innate nature only goes to show how it forms part of the core of our existence. Ever wondered why we as humans are referred to as social beings? I think you kind of get the big picture now.

It always blesses our heart to know that we are never alone and that there are several people who are going through what you are currently experiencing. They totally understand what it feels like to be in your shoes because they are in your shoes. Not only that, this knowledge carries in itself the power of resilience where we suddenly realize in a moment of insight “wait… if there are so many people going through what I’m going through, then perhaps it’s not a big deal as I thought it was. This cannot be my end. I can still survive, and thrive even.”

Dear friend, although it might not look or feel like it sometimes, you are never alone. You are never without companions; after all, there’s nothing new under the sun and the good book also adds that temptations you experience are common to all and sundry. Allow this knowledge to still the tempest of your soul. Dear friend, you are never alone.