A common definition of suicide is the intentional killing of oneself, or of multiple people doing so. Suicide can also be used in the figurative sense to mean any action that could lead to death although death is not the aim of the action. Growing up, I saw suicide as a mere concept- you know… something we just talk about but in practicality, far removed from reality. All that changed when during my first year in the university I heard about a colleague who had just committed suicide. I was shocked! I tried to wrap my bewildered mind around the whole issue but that left me in more shock.
More than 700 000 people die due to suicide every year. Suicide is the fourth leading cause of death among 15-29 year-olds.
WHO. com
This time around, the shock was because I realized how common suicide really is. It isn’t just a mere concept, it is a common practice. And by common, I don’t mean the number of people that actually succeed in committing suicide but the number of people that fantasize, so to speak, about committing suicide. I think the right word is suicide ideation. I bet that at one point in our lives, we have all entertained thoughts about suicide. Some of these thoughts may be as subtle as the “I-wish-I-never-existed” thought or more overt like the “let-me-just-end-it-all” thought. These thoughts are so prevalent during the gloomy dark days of our lives; like losing someone you love, unfulfilled expectations and so much more. Of course, no one enjoys these dark days. And what do we do to things we don’t enjoy? Normally, we either wish them away or if we can afford to, throw them away. So the question is why do people want to throw away their lives? Obviously, it’s because they don’t enjoy their lives. But why don’t they enjoy their lives? That’s what we are here to reason about.
Ever heard the saying “separating the baby from the bath water” or something similar? The main message behind this saying is about possessing the ability to differentiate or to tell how one thing is different from the other. Can you tell the difference between your legs and your hands? Yes? How about telling the difference of your mouth from your nose? I bet these are simple and straightforward. The main reason is because all these are tangible. We can see and touch our legs, hands, mouth and nose hence we know that they are in different positions on our bodies and that they are shaped differently and perform different functions. I wish that same simplicity were implicated in the intangibles, like our beliefs, concepts and perspectives but sadly, that’s hardly the case. This is because as creatures of form, humans are more conversant with the tangibles (which are basically form-like) than the intangibles of life. A common pitfall that causes a lot of people to tip over the edge of suicide is the inability to tell the difference between our lives and the circumstances of our lives.
Do you remember your first break-up? Or when you lost that close family member? It seemed your life was over. That you would forever live life with the label “the break-up guy” or “the lost a family member guy” If any of that happened to you a long time ago, you’ll find that all those labels are not true about your life today. Not that you’ve experienced a massive amnesia that has taken away all those memories. Of course, you still remember them. But the intensity of emotion and the trauma that accompanies such memories is greatly reduced. Those memories are now lighter and much more manageable. What changed? The seasons or circumstances of our lives did. Seasons are in a perpetual state of change. We can even observe that in nature. At one point, we see a big bright sky and the next moment, everything is dark and cloudy. What changed? The sky is still up there, it didn’t change. Rather, it was the weather condition that changed. We can think about our life as the sky and the weather condition as the circumstances of our lives. When nothing seems to be working, when all your dreams go unfulfilled, please know that your life is not miserable. Your life is perfectly ok. It is neutral like everyone’s life. What is miserable is just the circumstances of your life, which is bound to change anyways. Can you see the difference now? Can you mentally distinguish between your life and the circumstances of your life?
🚫 This article is an excerpt from the 7th issue of Adrenaline (the contemporary youth magazine)
In conclusion, I’ll say that we’re all in the same boat of life. Sometimes, we may feel others are sailing in yachts or some gigantic ship but that’s never the case. We all share in the human nature. Our difference isn’t anything more than the circumstances of our lives. That’s why suicide is not reserved for the rich or poor because both can commit suicide out of frustration. There is a line of the famous parade song, “Life in this world is a great struggle”, that says that “rich men envy poor men; poor men envy the rich. Therefore what is the sense in envying your neighbor?” Live your life and embrace all the challenges that come with it. Be grateful for your highs and be graceful with the lows for in that lies the secret of living.
Restpiration 