Karl listens to a motivational speaker who urges him to work on himself and become better and more successful. That sounds like a noble cause so he immediately goes to work on himself. He follows the first step, which is to draft all the areas he likes to work on. His list gives him ten areas which include: academics, finances, relationships and a little bit of everything.
He proceeds to the next step where he draws a rigorous timetable apportioning time for each of these areas. Within these times, he utilizes resources that aid in his development in the desired areas. That’s a good way to start his new year. He imagines how perfect he will be by the end of the year.
Down the line Karl realizes that he’s constantly filled with guilt whenever he fails to cross an item off his “development timetable”. The pull and drag of deadlines and commitments seem to be extremely stressful.
Hadn’t he gone on a noble cause to be more successful which should eventually make him happier? Now he feels like a complete failure for not diligently abiding by his timetable, and sad because he fails again no matter how hard he tries. He usually dreams about his goals personified mocking him for being too lazy and never good enough.
Like Karl, I have also struggled a lot of times to keep up with my “development timetable.” I know that you may also share this experience. Sometimes I wonder if there could ever be a solution to this perpectual struggle.
Goals are good but if they make us more stressed and anxious than we were before we had them, then that’s a problem. I really want goals to be a lot friendlier and not so devastating and fierce. I’m not talking about having it as a goal to lie in the couch all day and watch your favorite Netflix series (that can also be a great goal sometimes!) but really I’m talking about going higher in what feels natural and sustainable.
🚫 This article is an excerpt from the upcoming issue of Adrenaline
If I have it as a goal to exercise for 12 hours each waking day, that’s great! I could sure do this for a couple of weeks or months but I can confidently tell you that I can’t exercise like that for the rest of my life. It’s just not possible.
Before you think I’m trying to find excuses for not doing what I should be doing remember that I started everything in the first place. There came a time that because of the period I was in exercise seemed to be a more reasonable venture to me so I decided “hey, why not double up on it?” And I did. I made it up because I thought that was the best.
Let’s say after a couple of years, I’m the CEO of a publishing company that’s international, it wouldn’t be so absurd that exercise would become less of a priority. Maybe my exercise routine will revolve around using the stairs instead of the elevator at work and walking to offices to make enquires instead of just placing a call. And all that would make complete sense to me at that level. My point? Goals shouldn’t be so rigid and restraining. In fact, the feeling of rigidity and excessive restrain we have when working with our goals is more of a feedback signalling to us that these goals need to be reviewed and upgraded to more natural and friendlier ones.
Oftentimes we get so much submerged in our goals to the point that we forget that they are our handiwork- we made them up. We find ourselves anxious and stressed from all that self-imposed pressure we innocently create.
Goals need not be so terrible; they could be fun- and they should. In that atmosphere of playfulness there’s a burst of creativity and wisdom for even the most complicated tasks. This goes beyond mere concept, you can try it for yourself. Review your goals and make them friendlier and doable and experience the immense freedom that comes from it. It’s a relief and at the same time a huge boost!
Remember to leave occasional pauses to savour the beauty of life. In these moments, you’ll realize that all that you seek you already are in essence. That beauty you witness is who you are at the core. And once you get back to work on your goals there’ll be no dread and haste but a reminiscent heart touched by the wonder of life. May our goals continue to bring us more of what we want and less of what we don’t want- stress and anxiety!
Restpiration 